It's been a frantic past few days with the office move and all the emotions flying around the place.
I guess I'm still coming to grips with all the sudden changes in my life. I'm starting to slowly start feeling real emotions and I tend to get overwhelmed a lot of the time.
How do I deal with emotions I never thought I had or knew existed? I've been told to just sit with them and try to process what I'm feeling or write about them.
I've stopped numbing my pain by acting out like I used to in the past, and now realise what an effect my way of numbing my pain has had on my life...
It's scary to think that I thought what I was doing was normal. Maybe its normal for others but not for me, for me it can get out of control and quickly.
I'm in good spirits today, went to a meeting and saw a lot of old friends. It's nice to know that I'm not alone out there struggling through life. And that there are people out there that do truly care about what I have to say, or when they ask how I'm doing it's genuine.
I need to surround myself with more friends that are authentic and that are real.
No matter how deep my pain and heart ache is and how alone I feel I do actually have a lot of friends around me that do give a damn about me. I just pray that I don't disappoint them like I've disappointed others in the past.
Im feeling confident that I will be happy again one day, and that this pain is only temporary.
I'm sitting in a coffee bar called truth, which is so what my life needs to be about. Not only is the coffee great but I can sit and think here and not be distracted.
I might go to the beach front just now and watch the waves crash on the rocks.
I'm so happy I moved back to SA, and have access to nature again! This truly is a magical country we live in, with it's majestic oceans and mountains and it's beautiful wildlife.
That's it for me for now, I might check back later.
/K
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