A sucker for punishment

Another manic day has passed. I started work at 6:30 this morning and finished at 22:00 tonight. As mention in my previous post we're in the process of moving offices.

I'm happy that we didn't throw in the towel early and stayed behind to get most of the hardware up and running. I don't like leaving things unfinished, I'll always sacrifice something to ensure that whatever I need to do gets done and done properly.

I had a run in with my team leader today, he was having a hissy fit because the other team leader involved in managing the project was doing a better job of getting the job done than he did. Also I think he can see that we're getting on a lot better with his ex nemesis than he had hoped us to do.

After much childishness I decided to clear the air and we spoke about the issues we had and all was fine.

I deactivated my Facebook account tonight, too many memories, too much heartache and pain on there. I always contemplated doing it but never went through with it because I still wanted some connection to my ex. After the things she said to me I've come to the conclusion that I will only engage in a conversation with her if it's regarding our daughter. I won't give her the time of day anymore.

Making this decision was really difficult because I'm such a co-dependent.

I read the following verse this morning "some of us are able to love ourselves only as long as it doesn't inconvenience or cause pain to others". I guess I need to stop letting others have so much control over me. I make myself vulnerable way to easily and most of the time those people that I trust with my stuff don't really have my bet interest a heart.

I guess for the time being I need to live my life in consultation and solitude. I need to reconnect with my higher power and become more spiritual, handing over that which I'm having trouble coping with.

I'm grateful to be alive.
I'm grateful to be clean.
I'm grateful to have a beautiful daughter in my life.
I'm grateful to have a roof over my head.
I'm grateful to have clarity.

Anyways, I've worked about 50 hours in the past 3 days so I'm going to go to bed.

I haven't heard from you. Im sorry if I offended you in any way.

Sleep well world.

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